I was asked the other day what it meant to be a “geek”. This fellow co-worker of mine began to answer her own question by asking other questions which were, “do you wear silly shirts, awkward around the opposite sex, or just kind of odd?”
I waited until she was done and then told her no. What she was thinking of were clowns.
I don’t know about you, but when I say I am a “geek”, I mean I am very passionate about something. Using this definition, I am a geek for games, for movies, for music, for good food, and most importantly, my family.
So, if you are a geek, pat yourself on the back repeatedly until you are out of breath. You are one of the lucky ones. You have passion.
I shared this with my 12 y.o. son. He’s a year ahead of himself in school (8th grade instead of 7th) and is at the awkward stage where he thinks everyone in the world is always watching HIM all of the time. Because he skipped a grade, everyone calls him the “smart kid” and he’s managed to ‘forget’ to turn in homework and has recently begun failing tests on purpose to shake the smart label. I hope that he sees this as the temporary situation it is and takes what you’ve written to heart. Thanks for the post at the perfect time!
First things first, Alicia. Get your son and have him sit down in front of the computer. This message is for him. I’ll wait….
… … … … … … … … … …
Is he here? Great!
Dear Sir,
Let me be the very first to congratulate you on being a gifted individual. The fact that the school system judged you to be ahead of your class should be seen as nothing less than a firm confirmation of your talents, your abilities, and your unlimited potential. Your intelligence and wit will be what sets you apart from your peers and will be your greatest asset for your entire life. You should be proud. If you were my son, I’d be very proud indeed.
It saddens me to think that you are failing your classes on purpose. This is equivalent to a world class runner purposely loosing a race, a highly respected chef intentionally making a bad meal, or a person jumping out of an airplane thousands of feet above the ground without a parachute. In short, “bad ideas” and nothing less than self sabotage.
I will not tell you that being singled out and teased because you are different is a good thing. It is the worst of the worst. To be set aside and apart from the majority is lonely and bitterly frustrating. This is true for both girls and boys, men and women, regardless of age. And the fact that you are being singled out for something as wonderful as your intelligence and ability is shameful.
I encourage you to ignore the noise that your peers are making. It is negative and envious in nature. Do not listen to it; nothing good will come of it. Surround yourself with individuals who you respect and return the respect you deserve.
My name is Cyrus and I am a geek. Geeks created Microsoft, Apple, started MTV, own Fortune 500 companies, and pass laws in the local, state, and national government. Regardless of their role or title, they all have one thing in common.
They are smart.
Warmest regards,
Cyrus
Editor in Chief
fathergeek.com
Thanks for sharing, Alicia. Although, like Cyrus, my own children are much younger, I would guess (based on my own memories of adolescence) that your son is grappling with his sense of identity and community. I am sure he will decide in his own time that he prefers to live up to his potential rather than waste his talents. As a parent, you have done well to raise an intelligent child, and in the end that will surely prevail.
All the best.