The Basics:
- How To Dungeon Master Parenting: A Guidebook for Gamifying the Child-Rearing Quest, Leveling Up Your Skills, and Raising Future Adventurers by Shelly Mazzanoble
- 201 pages; Publishing Date: November 12th, 2024
- This book uses experiences gained through Dungeons and Dragons (specifically the role of Dungeon Master) to help you be the best parent you can be.
Endorsements:
- Child Geek not applicable (why would a kid read a book about parenting?)!
- Parent Geek approved!
- Gamer Geek mixed!
Overview
Wait a minute, a BOOK review? I thought this website talked about games and gaming! Who’s sneaking a book review in here?
Let me introduce myself! I am Mama Geek, Father Geek’s well-read better half. I have been contributing to gaming reviews for years now (as in, I often play games with Father Geek, and my thoughts and opinions end up in his reviews), but I have never done a review of my own.
I love to read, so when Father Geek was approached about reviewing a book, he immediately did what every good parent does and delegated the task to his spouse. It took very little persuading, especially after I learned what I would be reviewing.
Without further ado, let’s dive in!
The Not-So-Subtle Art of Parental Role-Playing
Before starting this review, I’d like to provide some background on myself and Dungeons and Dragons (better known in many circles as D&D).
I have loved board games for most of my life, am a theater nerd, and actively support and contribute to Father Geek’s board game addiction/hobby (depending on who you speak to). I attend board game conventions and regularly make time to play games with my family and friends. I built an entire room in my house for games and gaming. Despite all this, I have never played D&D. The closest to D&D I have ever been was when my high school boyfriend invited me to a gaming session with him and his friends. I didn’t have a character. I was just there to sit with him and watch him play.
Looking back on this now, I realize that he was showing off that he had a girlfriend and that my presence had nothing to do with the game. So I know of D&D, have been D&D adjacent, and have a husband who loves the game, but I have never played it myself.
The premise of How To Dungeon Master Parenting: A Guidebook for Gamifying the Child-Rearing Quest, Leveling Up Your Skills, and Raising Future Adventurers is that you can take things that you learn from D&D, especially the role of the Dungeon Master (the individual who is in charge of the game and its narrative), and apply it to parenting. You don’t need to be an expert Dungeon Master or D&D player to grasp the book’s messages or find How to Dungeon Master Parenting to be fun and funny, though! The author does a great job of weaving D&D into the book, but this is an excellent parenting guide without the role-playing aspects. The author’s writing is humorous, self-deprecating at times, and accessible to everyone. I prefer fiction books or nonfiction books that read like fiction, and this book fits that bill.
Adventuring in the Realms of Parenthood
How to Dungeon Master Parenting is laid out as expected in most parenting books. It includes topics to consider before the baby arrives, things to expect with a newborn, toddler, etc. There is some jumping around because the issues the author discusses in various chapters may apply to several stages, but overall, the book is organized logically and linearly. I found every chapter full of practical, concrete tips for the various stages of parenting. There were also great tips for people in the parents’ adventuring party (i.e., friends and family) on ways they could help support the parents.
One of the many aspects I appreciated about the book was how the author normalizes and verbalizes the helplessness we all feel as parents sometimes. This is especially true of parenting newborns. Parenting is a hard job, and I think it’s essential that this fact gets recognized and talked about more often. Chapter Five: A Long Rest does an excellent job of discussing the difficulties of early parenting in particular. I found the recommendations provided to help a new parent to be precisely what a new parent needs and much more helpful than a spa gift card or questionable casserole.
Little Monsters
I particularly enjoyed the chapters that discuss the facets of children’s personalities as they relate to D&D. For example, Chapter Seven: Parenting by the (Rule) Book, Chapter Eight: Know Thy Game, Know Thy Player, and Chapter Nine: I Think We’re Aligned Now provide great insight into some of the things that drive kids and help parents understand their motivations, which will, in turn, make them better parents. I saw my kids in these chapters! The advice provided is spot on.
Some of my favorite sections of How to Dungeon Master Parenting were the little funny bits at the end of some chapters that put D&D and parenting together. I liked the Parenting Class Quiz (I am a Wizard!), and “Top Twenty Things Both Dungeon Masters and Parents Say” literally made me laugh aloud.
My favorite, though, was the Moppet Manual entries. From babies to toddlers to tweens to teens, these are accurate, hilarious depictions of kids’ best (and worst) traits at those stages, presented in a delightful D&D monster format.
Put these in your next party encounter and watch the fun.
Rules to Game and Live By
The messages of How to Dungeon Master Parenting are ones that I feel like parents can never hear enough. Messages like:
- You can do this!
- You are better at this than you think!
- There is no right way to be a parent, so wherever works for you and your kid(s) works.
My favorite quote?
“Just like a D&D adventure unfolds before the players, so will your parenting journey. It may feel like you are ill prepared or stuck at 1st level, or maybe you’re still trying to get your game scheduled, but somehow, someway, you will figure it out and come out the other side, bigger, tougher, and richer.”
This is so true, and it is a message all parents need to take to heart and remind themselves of regularly! Along those lines, I found Chapter 19: We Never Left The Tavern to be an excellent reminder of why we, as parents, must ensure we care for ourselves, too. Parenting is one of the most complex jobs we’ll ever do, and we need to use our downtime well. I also appreciated the message of not taking ourselves too seriously and enjoying the fantastic role you get to play as a parent.
To quote the author one more time:
“In the game of Dungeons & Dragons, you can be a Dungeon Master or you can be a hero. In parenting, you’re lucky because you get to be both.”
This book very much embodies the heart and soul of Father Geek. Gaming (in this case, D&D) can improve your parenting. Your kids learn important lessons (both concrete and abstract) through games. You also learn lessons as parents through games (again, both concrete and abstract). Games can also provide a much-needed break for everyone and an excellent way to connect. This book seamlessly connects these ideals, making it an essential Parent Geek book for your library or game room shelf.
To learn more and preorder How To Dungeon Master Parenting: A Guidebook for Gamifying the Child-Rearing Quest, Leveling Up Your Skills, and Raising Future Adventurers, visit the book’s webpage.
Final Thoughts
I have a confession: The Child Geeks did not read this book! And really, why would they? A book about parenting is not of interest to most kids, even those in our house who like board games. According to our biggest bookworm, “I’m just a kid! I don’t need to learn how to be a parent for a long time. I want to read about adventures, scary stories, fun stories, not a book about parenting.” I agree. Greatly.
Attention all Parent Geeks: You will love this book – this Parent Geek did anyway! It was easy to read, funny, and irreverent while imparting excellent practical parenting advice. Parent Geeks related to many of the parenting anecdotes discussed. They found the connections to D&D to be seamless and topical. Parent Geeks also loved the supportive tone of the book and the message that there are many ways to successfully parent children, just like there are many ways to navigate a D&D quest successfully. This Parent Geek will give How to Dungeon Master Parenting a gift to future and current gaming parents!
Gamer Geeks liked the D&D and tongue-in-cheek aspects of the book. Gamer Geeks who were not planning to have children anytime soon enjoyed the D&D vocabulary but didn’t relate much to the parenting aspects. Gamer Geeks who plan to have children soon found it a helpful and down-to-earth guidebook they could relate to. Parent Geeks-to-be felt this book would be helpful as they level up their parenting adventure.
This book was given to Mama Geek as a review copy. Mama Geek was not paid, bribed, wined, dined, or threatened in vain hopes of influencing this review. Such is the Mama Geek’s statuesque and legendary integrity.
