The Basics:
- For ages 6 and up
- For 2 – 6 players
- Approximately 5 minutes to complete
Geek Skills:
- Counting & Math
Learning Curve:
- Child – Easy
- Adult – Easy
Theme & Narrative:
- Explore a secure space with a creepy-looking creature in search of cookies that look like dead animals
Endorsements:
- Child Geek rejected!
- Parent Geek rejected!
- Gamer Geek rejected!
Overview
Morphos, a shape-changing race of creatures, are being captured in order to protect them from the dangers of the world. Once placed in their protective shelter, the morphos can be studied, made safe, and preserved for generations to come. In this game, you’ll be taking on the role of one of these morphos, exploring your enclosure in search of cookies to munch on. Along the way, you might find opportunities to steal cookies or even get so distracted as to lose a turn. Don’t let your hunger blind you!
Society for the Protection of Aging Morphos (aptly given the acronym S.P.A.M.), designed by Phil Houlding, Mark Kilburn, Mercedes Palmer-Higgins, and published by Parthax Industries, is comprised of 46 cards. The cards are as thick and as durable as your standard playing card. Illustrations by Mercedes Palmer-Higgins depict colorful and truly bizarre creatures and cookies that look like roadkill.
Saving the Morphos
To play the game, first have each player select one Morpho card. These cards represent different morpho creatures that can take on the appearance of mundane objects, such as books and dolls. Any Morpho cards not used can go back in the game box.
Then take the remaining cards, shuffle, and deal 25 to the table, face down, and in a 5 x 5 grid. These cards represent the morphos enclosure. Any remaining cards can go back in the game box.
In turn order around the table, each player takes one face-down card from the enclosure.
- If the drawn card is a Cookie, the player keeps it and then places their Morpho card in that spot, ending their turn.
- If the drawn card is any other card, they take it, read it out loud, resolve it, and then place their Morpho card in that spot, ending their turn.
The next player then takes their turn, selecting one face-down card from the enclosure.
Ending and Winning the Game
The game ends once all the face-down cards in the enclosure have been collected or resolved.
Players now count the points earned by their collected Cookie cards. The winner is the player with the most points.
Game Variant
You can add a twist to the game by including a rule that determines where you place your Morpho cards in the enclosure. This rule states that opponents cannot collect cards adjacent to the player’s Morpho cards, adding a small element of area control.
To learn more about S.P.A.M., visit the game’s web page.
Final Word
The Child Geeks quickly learned how to play the game and jumped in. The entire time, they kept asking themselves and those watching them, “Is this all there is to the game?” Turns out the game, while intended to be easy and fast, was too easy and too fast. This led our youngest and most inexperienced players to wonder if they were even playing the game. According to one Child Geek, “I guess I don’t get the game. We are just drawing cards, and something happens or doesn’t happen. That isn’t much of a game.” Another Child Geek said, “I was bored, but at least the game was fast.” The game is so fast, in fact, that our first playing session with the Child Geeks included 10 games in less than 60 minutes. A new record. Despite its speed, however, the game was found not to be a winner by the Child Geeks, who all voted to reject it.
The Parent Geeks were even more confused about the game, asking to see the rules repeatedly to make sure they were playing the game correctly. When it became very clear that the game was not much of a game to play, the Parent Geeks had a lot to say. According to one Parent Geek, “I don’t know how this made it into print. The game is so light that it is outweighed by the card box it came in. I’m not sure who this game is for or even why it exists.” Another Parent Geek said, “I’d rather play Old Maid or Go Fish than play this game again. I felt it was a total waste of my time, didn’t bring me any joy, and the level of engagement was similar to the same amount of headspace I give eye blinking.” When the Parent Geeks voted, it came as no surprise that they rejected S.P.A.M.
The Gamer Geeks were not kind to this game. I will leave out the most colorful and condescending comments because I was raised with respect and don’t find it worth my while to quote others speaking beligerently about another person’s creative endeavors. What I will provide is a tiny handful of quotes from the calmer Gamer Geeks who provided me feedback. According to one Gamer Geek, “This game must be a joke. I read the rules entirely too many times to play a game that was entirely not worth the cardstock it was printed on. I can only imagine this was a game released as a promo or as a means to get the company up and running. Otherwise, wow, I just cannot recommend this game to anyone.” When the votes were counted, the Gamer Geeks all agreed to reject this game with a passion.
I must agree with my reviewers on this one. S.P.A.M. is a horrible game. There is nothing to think about. You draw a card, do what it says (or don’t do anything if the card gives you points), and then wait for your turn again, if you get one. Rinse, repeat, yawn, and fall asleep. The game is just that bad.
Hilariously, it is suggested that the game can take up to 15 minutes or more. Don’t you believe it. You’ll spend more time setting up the game and explaining its lack of rules than actually playing the game. Expect a game to take no more than 5 minutes once it is dealt to the table. All players do is pick up a card, keep it or follow its instructions, and discard it. Then the player’s turn is done. You will spend less than 15 seconds per turn.
The game rules suggest it is “quick and fun.” I can only agree with the “quick” description. We had no fun whatsoever, and I cannot recommend this game to anyone.
This game was given to Father Geek as a review copy. Father Geek was not paid, bribed, wined, dined, or threatened in vain hopes of influencing this review. Such is the statuesque and legendary integrity of Father Geek.
